Archive for September, 2010

The Ex Factor? When a former flame returns…

Sunday, September 12th, 2010

Recently, a friend of mine broke up with her significant other, and pretty quickly got involved with an ex. Some might be quick to presume it’d be a rebound romance, and nothing more. In her case though, I really don’t think it is. See, for her and her ex, it was never ‘over’ really. Sure, they stopped seeing one another, they dated other people… but as for where their hearts lay, and where they naturally gravitated? Totally not over.

So they’re together again now and I support her in that. I can see they care a great deal about each other and he treats her how I want her to be…

You’ll often hear people say you should never return to an ex as there was always a reason you split in the first place. I’m not convinced, and suspect that’s a little too sweeping to be fully true. Sure, if you split because of a personality trait that hasn’t changed, or behaviour that hasn’t altered, then of course it’d be foolish to slip back between the sheets…

But if you can honestly look back at your past love and know that the reasons you split are now mitigated, then it can work. For my friend, the fact that they lived a distance from each other was difficult. Now, they have better transport and a little more financial availability to get to see one another. The first time around, his willingness to commit didn’t always work in his favour. I think, for her, it could feel a little stifling. Now, 4 years on and having spent that time with a partner who wasn’t willing to consider how they were moving forward, and that once stifling focus seems wonderful.

It’s not always so though. Some people are given every chance in the world by those around them and never change. I recently heard from an ex of mine, I’ll call him the chef… He’d deleted and reactivated Facebook, and when I wrote on his wall mocking how short a time he was away for, I found a comment on my post, apparently from his very recently become-ex… Followed up by a message, it all alleges the chef’s been a very naughty boy again, not only cheating on several girls at once (with none of them knowing), but also saying very disturbing things – using his family’s ficticious ill health as excuses… All in all, if even half of it is true, it shows he really hasn’t changed. When we were together, he even borrowed my phone to sit on a call to his ex for an hour when he was cheating on me with her… Nice. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had done what these girls and their friends have said, in all honesty.

I really think he needs to get some more casual playmates and friends with benefits instead of being a monogamous cheat..if nothing else, it does seem to get him in some fixes!

In all? Sure it can work. But assess the reasons behind the split first. And if there was fault on one side… has the leopard changed their spots…?

NK x

Review: Fetish Fantasy Honeymoon Bondage Kit

Friday, September 10th, 2010

This is another review I’ve been shamefully sitting on for some time now. I’m not usually this useless but with one thing and another, this has taken me forever… and I really hope that the gorgeous guys and girls at SexToysUK can forgive me… *flutters eyelashes*

I was sent this to review a while ago (*blush*) and it was really nice to have a change from vibes! Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do and testing dildos, vibes and other toys is a pretty awesome hobby/job I have… but a change is brilliant too, and that’s exactly what this provided!

In this kit, you’ll find adjustable white wrist and ankle cuffs with tethers, a white blindfold, a pink and black feather tickler, 2 candles and a mini vibrator. As such, I’ll take each item in turn, and then look at the kit as a whole…

The wrist and ankle cuffs are probably the most significant piece of kit in the box. Obviously, the thing that is most striking about these is the fact that they’re white. Not entirely groundbreaking, but also a noticable departure from the standard bondage fare of black, black and more black, and a change that would likely make them a whole lot less intimidating to the uninitiated. In use, I was impressed by the velcro closures on the tethers, they really didn’t give even when I tried really hard to pull against them. With the tether system though, our bed isn’t exactly condusive to them, being the divan type. Still, overall, a definite thumbs up for the cuffs.

When I first laid eyes on the blindfold, I was skeptical. It’s not the most expensive or thick blindfold, and to top that, it’s white… so I really wasn’t sure it was going to actually perform its task. I’ll admit I was wrong, and that it does a surprisingly good job. Because of the way mine was folded in the box, mine had some pretty noticable creases, that made it look less attractive. They’ll come out in time, but initially that does affect the look. The nose area could be a little better shaped, but that’s a common flaw with all but the really high end blindfolds, and it’s a minimal issue by comparison. Sure there are better blindfolds out there, but this is at least a decent-ish beginner’s one.

In stark contrast to the vast amounts of white in this kit, sits the pink and black feather tickler that’s included. The handle is a thin, plastic stick so it’s possibly not going to be the sturdiest creation ever, but the feathers do feel wonderfully soft and is probably best (in my opinion) paired with the blindfold to allow for sensation play.

The candles are fairly standard, the normal white stick type many households keep in stock for emergencies. As such though, they’re inconspicuous and will likely fit most holders. I’m not certain why they’re in this kit though; in that as it’s marketted towards comparitive beginners with bondage – for whom I’d think wax play might be pushing boundaries a little? If not, they could make for a handy way to set the scene and get the atmosphere right. I did check them out and they seem to burn pretty cleanly and the temperature of the wax is pretty average too.

Coming across the mini vibrator, I found it’s the pocket rocket type, and comes with 4 interchangable caps (one domed; one with flat, circular bumps; one with taller, slightly spikier nobs and a fourth with what I can only describe as rounded off spikes). The vibe without any caps added has 3 metal nubs on the top, which I find to be a little rough to want to use on its own. The vibe is quiet, which is a plus point, and only needs a single AA battery, but largely, I didn’t find it particularly impressive. With either of the first two caps on, (especially the dome) it feels like a lot of the vibration is lost, and travels up toward the hand rather than the clit… and the latter two caps feel downright spikey. I don’t want anything that rough buzzing there. A bit of a let down, unfortunately.

Lastly, not mentioned on the box or the SexToysUK site, I also found a little bag containing twist-open samplers of PipedreamProducts‘ Toy Cleaner, “Moist” Lube and Peaches and Cream “Liquid Love”. The Latter is a little runnier than most lickables are but does taste very peachy, if a little too sweet. The lube has a decent consitency, and isn’t sticky. These three samples make for a nice, unexpected inclusion. It’s just a little annoying that you can’t reseal them.

All things considered, I’d say that the Fetish Fantasy Honeymoon Bondage Kit makes for a good intro set, but may be a little basic for anyone who’s a bit more advanced. I wasn’t a fan of the vibrator, but the hard wearing restraints make up for it.

It’s available now at SexToysUK.

NK x

HNT… New Webcam…

Thursday, September 9th, 2010

Yeah, so… I got a new cam. I haven’t owned a webcam for years actually, and yeah… My boobs seem to gravitate towards camera lenses in general. Erm… sorry?

I actually really like this shot because I find myself looking at my hair a lot! It’s getting long!

NK x

Win a Cobra Libre with EdenCafe!

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

You may (I hope) have already visited Eden Cafe. It’s a fantastic hub for all kinds of sex, sexuality, relationship and kink related articles, and I occasionally write there too!

They’re currently running a contest to win a Fun Factory Cobra Libre! Fun Factory have been crafting awesome toys for years, but before this, it was us ladies who got to have all the fun (or at least most of it!) – now they’ve come up with what I’d honestly say seems to be a totally unique male masturbator!

See, most toys for the boys are things that still require a fair bit of effort – things like sleeves and strokers, which primarily exist to change texture rather than do the job for you while you get to relax and enjoy… The Cobra Libre is completely different.

It accomodates the head and a small part of the shaft of the penis, and uses dual motors to vibrate any guy to heaven. Another thing that is brilliant about this gadget is the way it is totally and utterly masculine – no girly pink here!

Best of all, it’s totally rechargable via the unique Fun Factory Click and Charge system – where the charger connects via a magnetic point on the back of the toy.

So with all that said, what are you waiting for? Win one here or buy one here!

NK x

Review: Cal Exotics Coture Collection Amante Remote Egg.

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

I was sent the Amante remote egg by Cal Exotics to review a little while ago and have been hopelessly tardy in getting the review up! Hell, I’ve taken forever to try it full stop, due to life stuff getting in the way (which pretty much sucks)…

This egg is flagged on the Cal Exotics site as “coming soon”, and likely for that reason, I can’t find it on any of the stores I usually shop at.

At first glance, the box is decent. It’s a whole lot sturdier than the Cal Exotics boxes used to be, which is great. It makes no bones about what it contains, but it also isn’t tacky or cliched either, so I’m happy with that.

Hailling from the recently developed higher end Couture Collection line,  what you get with this toy is a two piece set, consisting of an egg made of silicone with a stretchy cord, and a matching plastic remote which works up to 5 meters away. The egg needs two N batteries and the remote, a single 12v battery – both of which are comparitively rare and therefore a little more expensive than, say, standard AA/AAA batteries. However, California Exotics have provided the first set, so hopefully it’ll be a while before I need to worry about sourcing new ones.

I found the egg to be really comfortable when inserted, and while I’d certainly be a lot more turned on than usual, I could easily go about every day activities with the Amante in. Turning the egg on (via the remote), alllows you to cycle through 7 speeds and patterns of vibration, and all are fairly quiet. I know of quieter vibes, but only bullets. Saying that, when it’s inside, given a normal level of day-to-day background noise, I don’t think it’d be noticed.

The speeds felt different enough without feeling wildly opposed, and they definitely got me off. I think where this vibe would excel would be in a public play setting or generally in partnered play. It would definitely be hot to hand over the remote to a significant other and allow them to give you a thrill while at the bar or in the cinema, and is a great way to enjoy the feeling of public play without running the risk of being arrested!

I can’t help but also set my mind to wondering about the toy’s applications in a D/s setting – if you enjoy that kind of dynamic, a Dominant playmate or partner holding the remote could get a lot of fun out of making their sub squirm in awkward settings…?

Anyway, all in all, not a toy I plan to use a lot, but one that handles the right situation really, really well. Not to mention being the most comfortable and pleasurable of the remote eggs I’ve tried.

Read all about the Amante egg at the California Exotics site.

NK x

BDSM and Me – Part 4: Kinky Clothing.

Monday, September 6th, 2010

This is the fourth question in a series I’m answering all about my kinks. You can access the complete list here. 

Your thoughts on BDSM clothing: fun, too many stereotypes, too expensive, too uncomfortable, boring?

My opinion of fetish gear has evolved and changed over the years.

I’d go as far as to say that some years ago I had trouble understanding why there even WAS fetish clothing, outside of it being a specific fetish for some folk within the kinky community… I could understand if a person had a kink for a particular material or certain types of material… that made sense.But for a whole range of clothing to be deemed ‘fetish’? And even more so, from my limited knowledge, fetish clubs often required you to wear fetish clothing even if that wasn’t your kink? It didn’t entirely add up for me.

Now, though, I’d say my opinion, and my understanding of it has changed.

Part of it is, undeniably, the psychology of kink. You feel different in certain clothes. Almost like a mindset-uniform. And yes, there are those for whom kink clothing is a fetish in its own right.

As for me, I do own a little PVC… Only one outfit so far but I do love it and hope to own more in the future. I wouldn’t say PVC is a full-on fetish for me… yet… but I do feel very different when wearing it. I love the look of it, and it does feel more restrictive than a lot of clothing, which is enjoyable. No, it isn’t something I’d want to spend every day in – and yes, I have far more comfortable attire in my wardrobe… But that’s partly the point…

I do think there are a lot of cliches and stereotypes within kink clobber, but overall, I’d say that getting dressed up for an event can all be part of the fun and if it helps everyone get into the right frame of mind, then that’s a positive. I’m happy to see, now that I know a little more, that most fet clubs do allow a wider range of attire than I’d previously thought, though. For some people, it’s hard to get fetish clothing that fits, and even more so than that, there are those who really don’t enjoy being shined up ;)

I must get around to wearing my pvc out some time.

NK x

BDSM and Me – Part 3: Play Partners.

Thursday, September 2nd, 2010

Here I’ll answer part three in my series BDSM and Me, the entire list can be accessed here…

Are you comfortable in engaging in BDSM play with more than one person at a time in your life?

(If that image makes no sense, look up the song ;) )

This is an interesting one, and one I think I’ve been putting off answering. I last talked about the issue I’ve been facing here – and I hoped to have made more headway on it by now.

In reality I still haven’t exactly worked out where I am on the issue. As a quick recap, for those who didn’t see that post, R and I have what can reasonably called a vanilla relationship. A discussion we had (holy shit) 3 weeks ago led to him mentioning he’d find it okay for me to play with kinky friends, in a non-sexual manner. (Which he already knows would never happen.)

Part of what is concerning me (hell, most of it) is the worry that it’d either feel like cheating for me, or that R would say, and perhaps think, he’d be alright with it, but in practice it’d be different. I do wonder if I’m being unfair in thinking that – I know he’s more than capable of knowing his own mind and that he understands the difference.

In respect of play in it’s own right happening with more than one person, I’m pretty certain that’d work well, and it wouldn’t bother me at all… The only restriction to that is that I have to trust someone really well and have my own self confidence issues set well aside with that person before I can even consider play. Right now, I can say there’s one person (putting aside R) who I can say with some certaintly I have that with.

So for now, my answer to the question is “I don’t know”. I think I am, but I have reservations – which I really want to work out in my own head and with R because I do have those needs and desires and it would be good to clear up my own head from this one.

NK x

Review: Pin Ups (Glitter Bullet + Bombshell Balm Set)

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

The gorgeous guys and girls at LoveHoney sent me one of these babies to try out, so a huge thanks to them… a really huge thanks. You’ll see why soon!

The most striking thing, to me, when I first received the Pin Ups Bullet Balm combo was the packaging. I can honestly say I have never seen better, classier or more collectable sex toy than this one.

The tin, only a little bigger than a common cigarette tin, features one of three pinups, and reveals nothing of the contents. (Mine was the silver bullet with the blonde bombshell on the tin) Were it to tumble from a handbag, it could easily be mistaken for makeup or perhaps a cute tin being used to hold feminine products or hair accessories. Either way, no one would ever guess it housed your bullet vibe! 

Popping the lid off reveals a black solid foam wedge (absolutely no rattling, then!) holding the Bombshell Balm, the glitter bullet, and an extra battery (thumbs up to that!)

Having checked out the balm, it seems that the most significant ingredients come from mint and menthol – not strong enough to make you smell like a cough sweet, but enough to provide one hell of a tingle. Having done a quick taste test, I can also confirm that it has a pleasant, minty flavour!

 I must admit that when I first read that it was a glitter bullet, I expected a sort of glitter overlay, and for it to be quite ‘in your face’… The reality is far from it. The glitter effect is provided by the texture the bullet has, more like tiny water droplets on the surface. The end result is classier and more unusual than I’d imagined. Size wise, it’s roughly the same as the Tracey Cox SuperSex bullet, and also has the broad, flat tip, rather than the point you’d find on, say, the Ammunition RO-80mm Bullet.

After taking out the paper disk in the bullet (for protection against in-transit buzzies), I cycled through the 3 speeds. The first is a low, heavy sort of buzz, and the highest is a much more high pitched intense buzz, with the middle setting somewhere in between. This may also be the quietest bullet I’ve tried yet.

Now, putting the two together in use… I dabbed a little of the balm on my clit (advice: less is more. I put a tiny bit on, then a tiny bit more and that was enough – this stuff is VERY tingly!) and watched a little porn as I felt a growing cool tingle spread. Before long, I had to grab the bullet!

I found that for me it worked really well to warm up on the lowest setting, switching up the ‘gears’ as I approached orgasm… which, boy did I… The orgasm this little baby was easily one of the best I’ve had in a very long time!

It’s waterproof, so cleaning was a doddle, and it’s going to be really easy to store as it has such a beautiful case… not that it’s going to be put away very often!
Ultimately, I love this bit of kit, and it’s easily one of the best things I’ve tried in a long time. I’d recommend the bullet alone, as between the speeds and the texture it’s fabulous. The balm works brilliantly, smells great and tastes good too – what more could anyone want?! On top of all that, it’s a glamourous little number, and just purrfect!

Want it? (And I wouldn’t blame you!) – get it at LoveHoney now!

NK x