So, when Lilly posted about an Erogenous Zones series and invited people to join in, I was all for it. I had intended to join in from the start pretty much, but as a lot of the start of this year ended up being about sorting out this new blog and whatnot, that didn’t happen. Which made me a sad kitty, but hey hum, we’re there now!
This is week four of the series, dealing in breasts and the back, and the torso in general. For me, what really jumped out when I thought about writing about these areas was my back. In particular, my back and pain.
I remember when I was about 17, experiencing my first tastes of kink with my then-girlfriend, my biggest kink at the time (tame as it may seem to some) was scratches. In general, I used to walk around the rock club we hung out in literally covered in them, proud of my marks. If I’d known then what I know now about D/s relationships, subs and Dommes, I think all of that might have made more sense to me. At the time I don’t think it did – other people seemed to find it odd, there’d be stares sometimes, but I didn’t. It seemed natural, right and above everything else, pleasurable.
I remember having my back exposed to her, as she asked if I was ready. Putting all her force into it, she scored the length of my back with her nails. I felt the tracks scorch into my skin and the adrenaline rush through me. More. I needed more. She looked surprised.
“Baby, I never knew you were such a masochist“
Fuck, yes. In terms of hot, scratchy pain and my back, there is no “too much”. I have been left with scars for months off scratches I’d have liked harder.
Coming round to my front, and my breasts. They’re not actually all that big, in proportion to the rest of me (*sadface*). But what they are is very very perky, and that seems to work for most folk. Historically, I’ve known them to get a fair bit of attention in play, and it really depends on my mood as to how I handle that. Sometimes, I don’t want them handled too roughly (maybe some of those variations are hormonal?) and other times, I can’t get enough. The thing that’s really changed within relatively recent times for me, though, is my nipples. Before they were pierced I could withstand a fair bit of nipple play bordering on nipple torture. These days though? I’m all about licking and sucking. I will writhe and moan and generally go pretty fucking crazy for that.
One extra thing to tag on to this post as it’s really all about the torso. I have a scar on my tummy, from surgery a few years ago. The fact that it’s about a foot long will give away that it wasn’t a minor surgery! For years afterwars, my nerve trees going up my abdomen and all around the scar were pretty screwed, but recently I’ve regained a lot of feeling. Around the scar, most of that skin feels pretty normal to me now, but up towards the side of my right boob is still a touch numb. I’m fortunate in that I’ve never been embarrassed by my scar though – I see it as a testament of all that I’ve survived and as such I’m pretty damn proud of it.
Saying that though, a partners’ reaction to it has always been significant in my confidence during sex. The Chef’s most favourable response to it was “I don’t care” and that so long as we were having fun, it didn’t matter. It’s so close to being positive you could almost think it was, couldn’t you? Almost.
Previously mentioned kinky ex girlfriend practically worshipped it. She knew how kisses on partially numbed skin felt fluttery and ticklish, and loved to lick and kiss the length of the scar. I remember the look in her eyes, she found it mesmerising. A physical note of what I’d overcome to still be alive. And she thought it was beautiful. So I felt it.
P.S. Don’t forget to check out Lilly’s post!