These are my anti-depressants. They help with my anxiety, and they make me feel a little better generally. Sometimes I forget how much they do for me. This soon changes when I forget to take them for a few days, and I remember the difference they make. I’ve been on them for about four years now and I’m not sure that I’ll be able to come off them any time soon.
Mostly, they’re a helpful force. The list of potential side effects is lengthy, though. Of those listed, I suffer from
- Paraesthesia (pins and needles)
- Joint Pain
I have also experienced depersonalisation at times of extreme stress while on this medication.
By far the worst thing for me, personally, is the anorgasmia. It’s something I’ve experienced since I first started taking them, and if anything it seems to be worsening. Some days, toys, partners and hands have no chance and I simply have to give up on an orgasm entirely. Orgasming with a partner is especially difficult – and this is no slight on any recent sexual partner – as that buildup phase of an orgasm is particularly fragile and fleeting in me.
How does this correspond to toy testing and reviewing? Well, I have to pick my days/times for testing carefully – pick a time when my clit’s playing ball, if you will. Failing that, and that may not always be possible, I also have to take into account my own reactions when reviewing – questioning “Is my lack of arousal/orgasm related to the toy or me?”
In some ways it’s strangely helpful. A lot of women (and men for that matter, especially on SSRIs) suffer from difficulty reaching climax and to be able to tell them what did it for me – even with these issues – might help. For example, the Tracey Cox Orgasm Gel and Bombshell Balm were both really fun for me and made it easier to climax.
I don’t intend for this blog to become “about” my mental health issues, but I really wanted to discuss my anorgasmia as I feel like more of us who suffer with it should talk about it. I will say, however, that I do intend to discuss my medication with my doctors because if I can fix this, I would definitely be happier.
Do feel free to share your own experiences in the comments, if you like?